The Vision of Faith
Sight is the function of the eyes. Vision is the function of the mind. What we don’t see with our eyes is eternal, while what we see with our eyes is temporal. Reality beyond physical sight is often difficult to imagine. Because we live in a ph...
Fri, 24-Nov-2017
Don't Forget To Warm Up!

“Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
1 Corinthians 10:31

I have heard it said that one of the devil’s most effective tools, is to keep Christians so busy, that they lose focus on what is most important. I wonder how many reading this, are doing so in passing, ra...

09h30 - 19 Nov 2017
The Pre-Incarnate Christ
by Rev. Warren Watermeyer
Part 1
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Wipe Away the Tears

By Dr Bruce Woolard

“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes and there will be no more pain, neither sorrow, nor crying for all these things are passed away.”
Revelation 21:4

FOREWORD
The fact that you are reading this book is an indication that you are on the road to recovery. The past few days, weeks, months or years have left you feeling that life is senseless. What you are going though seems like a bad dream. The trauma of losing a loved one is the most devastating emotion one can experience. The “ifs” and “whys” compounded with anger and sometimes guilt can drive one to the brink of insanity. Let me assure you that as you read the pages of this book you will encounter the truth about life and death. You will find comfort and strength, hope will be restored. You will begin to see life from a totally new perspective. Remember, and go on remembering that you will get better, life will improve, you will survive and the future will hold greater promises for you.

Do not fear tomorrow – God will take care of you. God is bigger than your fears. Yesterday, we call the past, tomorrow, we call the future, today, is a gift and that’s why we call it the present.

An unopened gift is worthless. Learn to embrace God’s promises of a better life.


STAGES OF GRIEF
This is the most difficult time of your life. You are suffering from grief. There are cycles of healing to the pattern of grief and sorrow. Some individuals grieve over a longer period of time than others. This sense of loss will always be felt but through God’s grace you will learn to live again with the hope of being reunited with your loved one in God’s time and purpose- (Ecclesiastes 3.)

THE CYCLE OF GRIEF
Did you know there are seven stages to the cycle of grief?

SHOCK
Receiving the news that your loved one has passed away left you devastated. The initial shock left you with an intense feeling of inner paralysis. You felt numb, shattered, bruised and broken. It still does not seem real. – Why? What for? It seems so senseless! Are some of the questions you ask as you grapple with emotional shock.

RELEASE
Often an emotional release of crying follows as friends and relatives try to console you. Just seeing their faces and hearing their words evokes a wave of sorrow. Do not suppress this emotion – control it - then gently release your feelings. Remember that weeping serves as a means of releasing inner emotions. Crying will relieve the emotional pressure and will purge you of the inner pain and hurt.

LONELINESS
One is often left lonely and depressed, this is relative, and subject to the degree of dependence you had in the deceased. You prefer to avoid people and you may have difficulty in sleeping. You want to be alone. Life seems so unfair and unreal. This stage in the cycle of grief is a dark period as life appears to be abnormal, hopeless and purposeless. You are in a deep state of mourning. The sunlight of God’s Presence will soon flood into the dark sorrow of your soul and over time you will recover. Do not be afraid to talk about your feelings – write a letter to someone special and tell them how you feel. In fact write your thoughts in a scrap book. It will assist your mind in coping with the overload.

GUILT
“I could have done more” or “I should have done something” is a natural feeling in the process of coming to terms with the reality of the crisis you are experiencing. Do not punish yourself with guilt. All of us make mistakes; do not condemn yourself for those mistakes. God understands the reason why and there are some things that we cannot change. Learn to close the door on these foreign feelings of guilt and despair. Do not let guilt dominate your soul – release it and it will fly away.

ANGER
Anger is an emotion that is a further stage in the cycle of healing. One may feel angry with the medical profession, angry with friends and relatives for not showing enough care or empathy, angry with God, even asking “Why did God do this to me?” I have known people who became resentful toward their loved one who has passed away, exclaiming, “How could you leave me alone?” or “Life is unfair” – God understands your anger, He will forgive and help you to cope with the inner anger that burns like a fire in your soul.

MEMORIES
Memories of the past, the happy times, the sad times, the moments of great joy and contentment and also the times of detachment and disagreement often surface from the memory bank of our minds. One tries to relive the past. You want to talk about the past and probably feel apathetic about the future. “I couldn’t care less” or “I can’t get on with my life anymore” are some of the statements that become the order of the day. Learn to rewrite your past and highlight the pleasant memories – they will give you hope. The time will come when these memories will be the bedrock for your stability.

RETURN OF HOPE
It has been said that the cycle of healing in terms of grief and sorrow can sometimes last for two years but the time will arrive when you feel that life must go on. “I will be able to cope,” “God will help me to get over this.” This is the stage of acceptance, accepting that death is part of living. It is an inevitable appointment that each of us will have to keep. You will now be ready to admit your loss and begin to adjust to the new challenges. This is a time for personal growth and character building as you hold on tenaciously to your faith, your values and your God – it is a time when you will learn to live again.

Sometimes the stages of grief will merge and overlap. The bereft may feel a release from the phase of suffering, only to find it return later on, and remember that people mean well when sympathising with you. Sometimes their words will appear to be glib or meaningless and this will irritate you. Some people will feel that your mourning period is over and they will tell you to pull yourself together – don’t get angry with such people, they are acting in your interest albeit insensitively. Forgive them and look beyond their words and see their motive. Do not be surprised if people try to avoid you – this is because they feel uncomfortable and do not know what to say. There is a Friend who has entered into the cycle of healing with you. He is the Gentleman of the universe, the God who is revealed in and through the Scriptures. He promises never to leave you, neither to forsake you. He is with you to wipe away your tears.
 

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