St Marks Congregational Church | Articles

By Dr Bruce Woolard

Christian Marriage is a union between a man and a woman. Marriage is by God’s Divine Design for the well being of all mankind. It is only with His help that we can make a success of it. The quintessential ingredients for a happy and complete relationship include the following:

RESPECT

Respect for each other is not to be demanded but earned. The degree whereby you respect yourself determines the level of respect you will show toward your partner.

COMMUNICATION

Communication is important in the quest to establish a unique relationship. It is a bonding process that enables the relationship to develop and mature. There are three factors in terms of successful and meaningful communication:

Eye Contact – Tone of Voice – Content.

Eye Contact and facial expression communicates more than words. It has been said that 55% of communication centres around eye contact and expression in the face and body language. 35% of good communication is expressed in the tone of ones voice (The tone of voice represents ones emotions and feelings i.e. anger, negativism, irritation etc.) 10% involves the content of the dialogue.

SENSITIVITY

Sensitivity in terms of understanding your partner’s emotions and feelings will engender good will and harmony. Always try to see the situation from your partner’s view point. Do not try to drown out the voice or opinion of the person you love. Empathy and understanding will foster a qualitative relationship.

ATTITUDE

Each and every one of us from time to time demonstrate an attitude that wreaks of discontentment, abrasiveness, and negativism. A positive mental attitude will enhance the depth of the love relationship. Ensure that an argument is resolved before the sun sets.

CO-OPERATION

Co-operation when planning an evening or an event is essential. United you stand, divided you fall. Co-operation demonstrates oneness and unity. I and My must become Us and We in cooperative endeavors. Keep out of debt and discuss your financial concerns and plans.

LOVE

Love that is unconditional is a love that keeps no record of wrongs. It is Divine and meaningful. There are 4 types of love. The ancient Greek writers expressed 4 different words for love:

Storge – Eros – Philia – Agapé.

Family Love includes parental love and ones love for siblings. This type of love is called Storge.

Chemistry Love, Eros, the love of romance takes on different forms and goes through various phases and change. . Do not panic or become too concerned when this Eros emotion goes through changes. Sometimes it can be incredibly intense and other times passive. There are high and low chemical changes that take place in ones biological make-up and because this love is integral to the chemistry make-up, it may manifest changing feelings. What is important is that a couple learns to read each others chemistry cycle.

Friendship Love, Philia, is expressed in loyalty and faithfulness. This type of love fosters a sense of belonging. This belonging need requires fulfillment and contentment. Learn to enjoy each others company. Share events that have transpired throughout the day in a meaningful and engaging way. Friendship is based on interaction and a good rapport.

The greatest of all love is the Divine Love, Agape, referred to in 1 Corinthians 13. It is an unfailing love that refuses to permit anything or anyone to disrupt or interfere with the strong and beautiful bond between two people who have committed their lives to each other. It is a love that is giving, caring and considerate. It rejoices in the truth. It is protective of the union of marriage. It is also defensive because of the value and worth in the relationship. It is a Godly love expressed succinctly in John 3:16 “For God so loved the world He gave His only Son”.

ENTHUSIASM

This expressive word bounces with joy. It is derived from two Greek words: EN THEOS which means God within. Enthusiasm simply means to be filled with the spirit of excitement. Enthusiasm for life creates an atmosphere in the home environment that is conducive to happiness. This excitement is what makes married life joyful, fun and fulfilling. Every couple needs a good dose of enthusiasm to remedy some of the issues of life that may lead one into a rut. Avoid at all costs getting yourself into a rut by demonstrating excitement for each other as you set exciting plans for the future.

FAITH

Faith in God and the understanding of His word rightly divided will meet your spiritual curiosity and through regular prayer and communication with God, your faith will help you to live a morally pure and uncomplicated life-style. Christian faith is different from other faiths because it places the emphasis on what God has done for you in Christ Jesus.

If God is for you, nothing can be against you.

Further Bible verses relating to Marriage:

Romans 8:31-39; Ephesians 5:22-33; 1 Corinthians 13.